One of the Three Dads Walking, Andy Airey, recently completed a 31-day trek between the UK’s four parliaments with his friends. All things considered, he fared pretty well.
“The thing was, by I suppose the end of the first week, you got attuned to it – your body just gets used to it,” said the 62-year-old, who lives in Morland.
“The legs took a bit of warming up to get out of the car on the last part of the journey but none of us suffered any awkward ailments or injuries.”
Did they ever doubt they’d complete the challenge? “Not once. It just felt manageable, I think because you knew what it felt like to walk 20-odd miles a day you knew you could do it.”
Their first walk – a fairly modest 300 miles by comparison – was to raise money for and awareness of the young suicide prevention charity Papyrus.
Having met after each one’s daughter took her own life, the Three Dads – Andy, Mike Palmer, from Greater Manchester, and Tim Owen, from Norfolk – embarked on a journey between all three homes. Not only did it capture the public’s imagination, but attracted support from celebrities Nicole Kidman, Lou Macari and Daniel Craig, who each donated £10,000.
The dads had a target of raising £3,000 each – they ended up with more than £800,000.
Galvanised by their success, at the end of last year, the trio embarked on their second adventure with the aim of reaching the million-pound mark.
They completed the journey followed by TV cameras, regularly featuring on BBC Breakfast. On one occasion, viewers saw Daniel Craig appear on a computer screen to wish them well. “I was expecting him to pop out of a bush every day,” laughed Andy. “We’re immensely grateful that he took the time to say those kind words.”
As well as fundraising, the dads were campaigning to have suicide prevention made compulsory on the national curriculum. They set up a petition, which has now reached the 100,000-signature threshold for a Commons debate.
It has become something of a crusade. “The first time when we walked, what drove us was after we’d lost our daughters Sophie, Beth and Emily we all decided we had to do something positive, and the something positive was to raise funds for Papyrus,” said Andy.
“When you come across the charity, which most parents do after they’ve lost their child, the first thing you see is that suicide is the biggest killer of young people in the UK. You think, ‘That can’t be right,’ but unfortunately it is.
“It felt like that was made real because every day we walked and everywhere we walked we were walking with suicide-bereaved parents and talking to them. The thing that struck you was the similar conversations you had, which all revolved around it was only after they lost their child that they realised suicide was the biggest killer.
"It was only then that they thought, ‘Why didn’t anybody tell us?’ That daily set of questions and conversations made us ask the question of government and we’ve not got an answer yet. That’s why we had to do something and keep pushing.”
According to statistics, suicide is the primary cause of death for those under 35 in the UK, with more than 200 school-aged children taking their own lives every year. While mental health is discussed, schools shy away from the topic itself, with the prevailing notion that talking about it might encourage it.
Andy thinks this is nonsense. “It’s been proved time and time again that that is not the case,” he said. “You’ve got to start training young people from primary school upwards, doing age-appropriate lessons based on help-seeking behaviour. You’ve got to start young. We met two families whose 11-year-olds have taken their lives and we’ve heard of an eight-year-old so you’ve got to start at the very start.”
Andy feels it’s dangerous to broach the subject of mental ill health at all without the willingness to follow this to its natural conclusion. “It’s a significant move forward from 10 years ago but they’re missing the point because how many times is suicide mentioned on the school curriculum?” he asked. “The answer is none. If people start to have suicidal thoughts they’re going to think they’ve gone beyond help. You could argue the situation is even worse now because you go so far but not far enough.”
Before embarking on the latest walk, Tim wrote to his MP – Liz Truss – asking for support. He did eventually receive a response, but Andy said it was just the same message they’d heard many times about what’s being done to address mental health issues. His own MP, Neil Hudson, has been more helpful. “He’s got behind us massively,” he said. “He came and walked with us. In parallel to us having the petition running he has introduced an Early Day Motion.”
Even if they succeed in nothing else, the Three Dads have opened up the conversation about suicide – a fact acknowledged by Papyrus CEO Ged Flynn, who said they’d “changed the landscape of suicide awareness”.
They’ve also garnered recognition, beating Manchester Arena bombing survivor and fundraiser Martin Hibbert to the title of Team of the Year at last year’s JustGiving Awards.
Having gained such momentum, it would almost seem remiss for the trio not to capitalise on it. “We’ve got another couple of irons in the fire currently to keep the petition in the public eye, so watch this space,” said Andy.
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